What if CHANGE can be fast?

Have you ever wished some things would change faster? Like…It would be so good if I could just stop eating those cookies at night/ it would be amazing if I could just stop this overworry…/ it would be so good to feel more balanced and less frustrated…/ I wish I could just stop yelling at my kids…

Good news is: change can happen fast.

I will tell you now how.

All the things I’m about to share - please use these FOR you. If a slow change is what serves you - keep it. ‘Change CAN happen fast’ is an empowering, motivating sentence, the goal is not to pressure you in any way.

Let me start with an example: When your baby was born change happened fast. One moment you were pregnant and preparing yourself for motherhood, the other moment your baby was already in your arms, and you knew your life would never be the same, everything just changed. But. Feeling like a mom, growing into that identity can take time. And it’s OK.

For some it happens quickly, they bond and feel they’re born for this. For some of us it’s a more challenging journey. Growing into motherhood, into loving and enjoying it can take time. And that’s just OK. (I wanted to start off with this side note so you don’t pressure yourself unnecesseraly)

But. In some case change CAN happen fast and we want that.

Changing things which are causing us tension, frustration, anxiety, suffering… yes please, I want the change to be as fast as possible.

And if you believe that change can only be long and slow, you probably won’t even want to start working on that change. (only when it’s soooo painful already)

Let me tell you WHY change can happen fast. The answer lies in how our brain works. ONLY 2-5 % of processing happens consciously, all the rest is all UNCONSCIOUS.

Therefore wanting the change on a conscious level, using only your willpower can take indeed long. (and willpower gets tired). Solution? Let’s work on the unconscious level and use that immense power that your unconscious mind has.

Our brain runs on prediction and as it wants to preserve energy, it will always chose the habitual, enough times repeated ways and reactions. (aka habits) Let’s interrupt the habituated pattern and give her a new way, a new reaction to its repertoir, practice it… and voila, the change IS happening.

There are 4 steps of any change and I use these steps to help my clients to change anything:

1. Associate into the problem state - feel that anxiety, feel that frustration or insecurity you want to change

2. Dissociate from the problem state- we can change that quickly with different tools so you can feel more neutral

3. Associate into the positive emotional state - What is your desired reaction? How do you wanna feel instead?

4. Bring this resource to the trigger - we create new neuro pathways so you have another reaction wired in

When you IMAGINE feeling a certain feeling, it’s like a rehearsal for your brain. The more you practice, the easier you can drop into that feeling. So instead of guilt… you can wire a new reaction in which could be more neutral or even calm, peaceful. Instead of the feeling the frustration every time your partner brings up a certain topic, you can rewire your brain for more empathy or peace… Instead of insecurity you can teach your brain how to feel confident in certain situations…

It’s also a fascinating fact that whenever you’re only imagining a scenario, the same parts of your brain light up as if you would actually experience it. It’s super helpful because envisioning, imagining the desired outcome when you’re in a light trance will embed these new reactions, feelings into your mind.

Let’s see the 3 common problems young moms have and how this change work will help with those.

1. Feeling not good enough
   There are certain situations where you feel triggered and you constantly feel “not good enough”. We would investigate what exactly triggers you then would go deeper how you’re feeling.

   We would then get rid of the “not good enough” feeling (several technics available) which is the habitual reaction and would wire in a new desired reaction which could be confidence, calm, determined..(the desired state always comes from the client). So any time the same triggering situation would come up you would have now a more neutral reaction and with practice the new desired reaction.

2. Struggling with guiltfree selftime
   It’s very common that when a mom finally sits down, she just can’t relax fully as her brain is already running over her todolists, and what else she should do for the kids… etc. We need to find out what are the triggers and then getting rid of the restlessness, guilt. Then we can ‘paste’ a new feeling like calm, joy instead. From that point on your brain has a different response wired in for that certain situation.

3. Anxiety
   You may feel anxiety when you drop off your kid at the nursery, or when you would drive them yourself by car… (million versions for anxiety). When we figured out what are the exact triggering situations for you, we get rid of the anxiety (you will learn several technics how to stop anxiety) and rewire your brain with more desired response like calm, feeling OK, confidence.

These are just a few examples. This change works fast because we work on the exact same level where the original reaction is rooted.

There is one thing though which can help or hinder the change. Which is Your connection to your feelings, to your body.

Your thoughts are creating your feeling automatically. There is no person on this earth who can’t feel their feelings, you just maybe never paid enough of attention. The more you’re attuned to your body, to your feelings the easier the change will work. And you can start practicing this any time.

Start watching yourself, especially when you have an intense feeling - where do you feel it in your body?

If you would need to explain that sensation to an alien, how would you describe it?

Try this little exercise:

Anytime you would have a negative selftalk about your capablities, about how you’re just not doing enough… stand up tall, take a deep breath in and long breath out and feel the expansiveness in your chest. Drop your shoulders and put your hands on your hips. Embody the feeling of confidence and notice how the negative self talk changes. Voila, how do you feel now?
(It’s a momentary relief, but it helps to change that BS talk).

So just think about it when we work exactly on the triggering moment, breaking the exact unwanted pattern and then wiring in new reactions…
We work on your unconscious mind creating new neuro pathways so we embed new reactions… how cool it will be to change ANYTHING you want.

What if you could transform negative emotional states into positive resources?

What if change doens’t have to be slow?

According to my experience the more you know about how CHANGE works, the more you learn about how your mind works the more receptive you’ll be to the actual change work, therefore I now took the time to go a little bit deeper into these topics. Even though I only scratched the surface I hope now you have a better understanding how change session works.

Even if you only take that one thing with you that change CAN happen fast, it’s worth my time typing these all in. If it lights you up and gets you excited and gives you hope, it was worth it.🥰