Stop sugarcoating motherhood
It’s nice to have a raspberry coating on a doughnut. It means extra calories but also a very yummy taste. 😁😋 On the other hand putting sugarcoating on motherhood is disgusting.🤮
Yesss, we still need to speak about this in 2024.
There was an interview with a new mom and she talked about her experience very openly that she didn’t expect it to be that hard and that she was really suffering with all the challenges and shifts in her “new” life. OMG. The comments were so mixed. There were fellow women criticizing her and saying she should enjoy motherhood AND she shouldn’t whine which is just sooo popular these days. WTF? W.T.F?
I don’t want to go further into what exactly the comments said. We could only focus on how she shouldn’t care about others’ opinions and there will be always naysayers and trolls.
BUT.
I don’t want to go into that direction… because the fact itself that we’re still sugarcoating motherhood and that society is still throwing this stupid dreamland picture on mothers… shows that we still need to speak up, speak louder!
It’s important to normalize REAL MOTHERHOOD.
It’s essential to speak about the complexity of motherhood.
It’s key to share our honest experience so we stop this sugarcoating BS.
Life is 50/50. There are good and bad days, there are positive and negative feelings. Motherhood is just as real and complex as life itself.
It’s beautiful AND challenging.
It’s heartwarming AND frustrating.
It’s a lightness on our heart and it’s heaviness.
It’s elated babysmell and it’s killing sleep deprivation.
It’s joy and tears
It’s a blessing and a challenge
This complexity is the real experience and it’s OK. Talking about the downside doesn’t negate the upside. But only talking about the upside IS sugarcoating.
I had a client who opened up very slowly because her base thought was that - “she should not feel this low…” “feeling miserable and these low emotions mean that there is something wrong with HER”
That is the result of sugarcoating. Women questioning themselves and whether they are cut out for motherhood.
What if feeling those low emotions is TOTALLY OK? A normal part of motherhood? Normal part of life actually…
If we don’t stop sugarcoating we do a huge disservice to fellow moms and moms to be.
You are not alone feeling that this shit is hard. It is. So what?
The question is what you wanna do about it.
When you accept the whole range, the ups and downs, the full complexity of motherhood… you can drop all the stupid expectations about how you should do, enjoy, or shouldn’t do things…
Because there is no such thing as the ONE right way.
There is no one ideal way of mothering.
I’m going to keep shouting this from the rooftops.
The problem is not you, not motherhood… the problem is the stupid expectations how it SHOULD look like and how we SHOULD enjoy motherhood 24/7…
You do you. Your mothering style is unique to You and You are the best mommy for Your child.
Letting yourself whine or complain about the hardships doesn’t make you a bad mom btw.
I remember how alone I felt when I coulnd’t bond with my baby.. and all I could focus on was all the hardships and challenging shifts in my life. I just didn’t understand why no one talked about these before. I thought there was something wrong with ME. (well it was part of PPD too, but this thought “there is something wrong with me” is very common")
I don’t think anyone can fully prepare for motherhood.
But we can help TREMENDOUSLY all new moms and fellow moms to be prepared as much as possible (and have less pressure and overwhelm) by breaking this sugarcoating BS and keeping it real.
Are you IN? Let’s speak LOUDER about the real experience!