How to feel better in a frustrating situation

My son is sick. I had to reschedule my whole calendar. First I felt angry, frustrated and well… victimized. Then I did the below 3 steps to feel better.

You must have heard several times that our thoughts create our reality. Well sort of… and that’s one of the basic law of mindset management. BUT. What happens when you just can’t access more positive thoughts? So let me give you this very fresh and personal example with 3 steps HOW you can manage your thoughts in a RIGHT way.

My son had a runny nose… I had a bad anticipation it won’t stop there. Well by Sunday afternoon he had fever. My week was full of goodies, coaching, meetups, mum’s night out, datenight and a bunch of wanna get dones… I knew my week would be totally different.

My first automatic thoughts were:

• WHY AGAIN?

• I'm F up.

• I HAVE TO reschedule everything.

• I HAVE TO cancel my coachings.

• I HAVE TO skip datenight.

• I can't success EVER like this...

To push myself towards better thoughts like:

• It's ALL right

• Everything happens for a reason

• It's SO GOOD he is at home with me and we can have a bit of momandson time..

They all felt weird, very far... and well, totally unbelievable.
So I didn't push myself there...

Don’t try to push yourself into toxic positivity and see the “bright side”
A new thought can help you feel better ONLY if you truly believe it.

So here are the 3 steps I did and I recommend you give a try in a difficult situation:

1. I examined my original automatic thoughts

   How does it make me feel? (frustrated, victimized, angry, sad)

   Do I wanna feel like this? - first YES, because that is my natural reaction… of course I’m frustrated… but THEN I don’t wanna keep feeling frustrated

2. CHOOSE different thoughts or different wording

   I'm rescheduling everything for my sanity

   Thanks God, I can reschedule my own calendar

   I will be able to make the necessary minimum even with him at home..

   These must feel believable, accessible for You. They don’t necessarily need to be super positive, but more realistic or neutral. Try to get rid of HAVE TOs and word with how you CHOOSE to act.

3. Keep reminding myself on the chosen thoughts when the automatic come up

   Of course when shit happens, when I can’t finish an email, when he is more needy… my automatic thoughts come back and that voice in my head happily starts again: “You see… you won’t succeed…” “Here we go again”. In that situation all I do is literally talking back to that voice and reminding myself on the thoughts I WANT TO think… “it’s enough what I’m doing” “I did the rescheduling” “Everything is OK now”

   As a summary the 3 most important things you can do FOR yourself in a difficult situation when you feel the frustration, negativity, incapacity taking over…

   1, Don’t fight reality. The fact is fact. Bring more neutrality into the situation.

   2, Don’t try to push yourself towards positivity… a neutral place is wonderful. Toxic positivity isn’t needed.

   3, Choose to think empowering thoughts instead of HAVE TOs and remind yourselves on these thoughts

   Keep going, you’re doing a good job mama. Balance doesn’t alywas look like a beautiful 50/50 at every moment. Sometimes it’s 80% shitshow… but fighting reality or giving in to those nasty thoughts won’t make things better, on the contrary. Choose to manage your mind otherwise your primal brain will run the show. Sometimes just ACCEPTING the situation, the hardship is enough to feel a bit ligther.