How to be happier?

We all want to be happy. We all want our family and life to be happy. It’s ok. 

But when this turns into an expectation to “have to be happy” or to “be happy all the time” it is more harm than good.

Life is 50-50, with good and bad feelings, with good and bad days.

Sometimes it’s easier sometimes it’s harder. If we don’t accept this reality then either way we will suffer or we’ll try to distract ourselves with unnecessary activities.

Happiness is a feeling. We can’t be in any feeling non-stop. Based on the model our own thoughts create our own feelings, but it doesn’t mean that we should misuse the model and force ourselves to think positively and on happiness all the time. Not at all. Only real thoughts will create your feelings, the thoughts that you truly believe. 

If you are capable of feeling any feeling even if it’s hard then you will be able to feel the positives as well, much deeper. Feeling the negative feelings suck, it’s hard. But it is necessary to our human experience.

Now.. listen to your thoughts, what do you tell to yourself about happiness?

Do you say something  like:

• I’ll be happy, if my husband worked less

• I’ll be happy when I’ll have a child

• I’ll be happy when my kids will be in school

• I’ll be happy when my boss will value me

• I’ll be happy when my mother-in-low will appreciate me

• I’ll be happy…

Most of the time our thoughts are not so clear. Often we don’t think it clearly, like I’ll be happy when.. it’s more common that our brain shows the situation the other way around. Of course that I’m not happy or satisfied as I don’t have that job yet, I don’t have my dream house, I don’t have… It is the same. You give power to a future circumstance, you give all your power over happiness.

Let’s see which are the 3 steps to feel happier:

1. Write down what happiness means for you. How do you feel when you are happy? Satisfied? Calm? Excited?

2. List the things that you want and you await your happiness from.

3. How could you feel those feelings (in the first point) now? What thoughts could help you to feel those feelings?

It doesn’t mean again that you have to feel happy all the time. It only means that happiness is within you, you are capable to feel happy.

If we release expectations like we always have to be happy or our kids should always feel happy, we take away the pressure and will be so much easier to enjoy what is.

Do you know what makes you happy?

Do you know what thoughts could support you to feel happy?