How motherhood can change everything
Happy Birthday. To me.:)
I’m reflecting back on things as my birthday is coming up and I invite you on this little journey, hopefully you will find some encouragement and wisdom in it.
35. I’m turning 35. I remember that even 30 looked so grown-up, so adult, so “old” when I was just starting university. 35 was something even more. It meant stability, children, house, a fully responsible adult who has her sh*t together. (funny how conditioning is shaping our view and beliefs)
I have kids, I have an amazing husband, we have an apartment. But nope…. I don’t alywas have my sh*t together and I definetely don’t feel like that responsible adult who already figured it all out. But I’m OK with it. I can now appreaciate what time brings, how I AM changing.
I look back and see how important every phase was. How ignorant and young (and honestly lost) I was at university, but it was also the time of a bit of recklessness, freedom. How hard I tried to prove myself in my career, how I tried to please others and be a good student, to pick the “right” faculty, then the “right” job… then when we first moved abroad and was punched in the face that I didn’t get a job in aviation, nor as an engineer and so I changed to sourcing. (again I learned a lot, I met amazing people and most importantly I proved to myself that there is always a way ahead…) But I still was swimming in my own little “fish tank”. I was not ready to dream big, to think outside of the box, to look for opportunities or create new ways…
Then suddenly everything changed. I became a mom and it turned my world upside down.
Not just a little. A lot. Like a tsunami tornado mix.
We were looking forward so much for our little girl. I was not prepared for PPD though.
It was a very tough period (I already wrote about it and will, because it’s so important that we normalize talking about these, but not today) and I thought it would break me. I was sure that’s the worse thing that could have happened to me. I felt hopeless, powerless and stuck.
But. This whole experience not only changed my world for the bad… but also for the good.
Becoming a mother and struggling was the strongest catalyst for a deep, real transformation.
I could not go on as before. I could not ‘just return to work’. I could just not simply ‘return back to my old life’. That was gone. For the good. That whole experience made me rethink my choices, my decisions, my life and my priorities.
It was painful, but it was also the key to a different, much more authentic life.
I changed.
My priorities changed.
This whole change was hand in hand with my coaching journey, as this was the first time I started to work with a coach. I started to be the watcher of my thoughts and finally I started getting rid of the preconditioned armor and started to look what’s beyond.
Becoming a mother (huge change itself) AND coaching together completely shaked my world.
I was struggling in my mom identity and coaching helped me to change my thoughts, my perceptions.
I was struggling in my career as a working mom and coaching helped me to see things from a different angle.
If I wouldn’t have struggled that much as a new mom, I wouldn’t have got to know coaching and the world of possibilities.
Becoming a mom has been the worst and the best thing in my life so far.
Now 35.
I love being 35. I love that I see the world differently. I’m more mature, more confident and more empowered than ever before. No I haven’t figured it all out.
I have my bad days, my low feelings and doubts… but still. I see how much I have changed. I feel good. I feel good about ageing (not about my wrinkles :D, but about ageing in general)
I don’t have yet my million-dollar business
I don’t have yet that big house
I haven’t gone on an around the world trip yet
But I do have a lot…
I have two amazing kids
I have a fantastic husband
I have amazing clients
I have a “job” which is my passion
I still have my “old friends” and get to meet with new ones
And I can thank MOTHERHOOD for several of those. Motherhood put things into perspective.
My kids are the most important. Always.
Motherhood really puts Everything into perspective: health (because you wanna stay healthy for them), time (because you want to spend quality time with them and also appreciate your selftime so much), work (you don’t wanna spend long hours in a shitty job), your LIFE - you want to develop FOR them, you want to change and break cycles and show the best example.
Motherhood changes everything. And it’s so good.
Change is scary for the brain… so sometimes we need this type of strong catalyst to actually transform.
Motherhood is definetely the strongest catalyst.
I’m still in the trenches with 2 small kids. My time and energy is not only my own. My whole world turns around them. But it’s OK. This is this phase now. I still love what I have, who I’m becoming.
And
I’m Fcking proud of myself, how much I have achieved and especially that I didn’t give up.
Motherhood was the reason of that deep pain and stuck feeling.(actually my own thoughts, but well the whole experience)
Motherhood has been also the biggest WHY for me. I’m a momcoach because of my own experience and because of all the transformation I’ve gone through thanks to coaching. My kids are also a big driver in what I do, how I’m growing and how I’m showing up day by day.
What has changed for You?
What’s the upside of those changes?
What’s the positive intention underneath the struggle/challenges you face?