Holiday for You too
Hello my dears, I’m back from our holiday.
I didn’t really rest much. I learned a lot though. No, I’m not relaxed, I’m more tired than before so I wanted to share my learnings with You.
For me holiday equals beach. I LOVE the sea, I need to go to the sea at least once a year, so it was no question that we would go to Croatia this year. It’s pretty close to Hungary (6 hrs drive) and we can go with the grandparents who can also help with the babysitting there. (was the plan) We chose the last week of June to avoid peak season and were very much excited about our family-vacation.
(For the record: we were a bit anxious about the roadtrip, how the kids will behave during such a long drive and it was a nice surprise that there was no problem with that at all.)
However I wanna share what this “vacation” looked like from MY view and how I managed it.
I created a list for all of us and made sure I bought all the stuff upfront (2 weeks before holiday I started)
I started packing and made sure all of our fav dresses are clean
I packed extra snacks and entertainment and googled how to survive the roadtrip with kids (luckily there was no need for extra entertainment)
Packed the luggages and with my husband we made sure that everything is ready to leave on time
We left on time (yaaaay, a small victory) and the vacation started. The roadtrip meant answering questions endlessly and begging to go to pee when we stopped, and not to rot in the sun but jump back into the car.
When we finally arrived it started with unpacking. (we purposefully chose an apartment to have enough space for all of us)
The days were all about the kids, about their naptime and how to still squeeze some sightseeing and beach time in it when the sun wasn’t burning.
My little one couldn’t sleep well (maybe because of the heat, maybe because of the new place …who knows) so we were sleep deprived after 3 days already. And being tired didn’t really help with managing my daughter’s attitude during the day.
We made sure the kids always had fresh fruits and food on time for every meal (It meant some extra stress when the restaurant was full and service slower)
The vacation went by quickly and we went to the beach by ourselves, really just enjoying the sun and water... ONCE with my husband.
We were so tired by the end of the day that we went out to have a cocktail and connect only once, otherwise we rather chose sleep.
We drove back home and arrived pretty late due to huge traffic. Then the unpacking and endless laundry started.
Now I’m back from vacation and can’t wait to relax and rest.
It’s not a list of complaints. I swear. 😁
It’s just the reality of the holiday in mom-version. I would go again, because there were fun moments, great experiences and a lot of joy too… but I also learned a lot about what I should do differently next time.
What I definitely did well was taking responsibility by making lists and preparing and then managing my own experience during the holiday. When I felt angry, pissed, stressed… I stopped for a moment and asked myself what was really going on? “What is bothering me?” Mostly the problem was my own expectation how things SHOULD go… and of course life just doesn’t go THAT way, especially with kids. 😃
With having the awareness I could at least calm myself down and release my annoyment. However it doesn’t change the fact that as a mom I barely could focus on my own relaxation and needs.
So what are my learnings?
Keep it as simple as possible. Kids don’t care about extra activities or special places.
Choose a hotel. 😁 Or if you go for an apartment/airbnb at least have breakfast included ready for you.
Ask for help firmly and openly (in my case from my parents)- I should have carved out more time intentionally with my husband.
If you don’t have a nanny or grandparents with you, choose a place with kids’ entertaiment so you can have a moment too.
Don’t stress about how to make it perfect - choose to think that a great vacation comes from YOU also enjoing it
DELEGATE. Anything and everything possible. It’s gonna be always all on you if you don’t choose to delegate some to-dos.
Keep it light. No need to stress about anything. If you don’t wanna go down to the beach, say NO. If you don’t wanna do something, say NO.
I didn’t even question some of the tasks and activities and now I see how much it drained my energy.
What I learned from this vacation is that it’s so OK to want to have a holiday without kids. 😁 Holiday with kids is naturally about them. The only mistake I made was having the expectation to relax as if we wouldn’t go with a 2 and a 4 yo… Just because my parents came with us.
So of course I had those moments when I felt disappointed and pissed that I didn’t relax as I would have expected. However it was all about my expectations.
When I was able to drop my expectations I also enjoyed the very moment so much more. I was managing my mind and my own experience around what actually was happening.
A good reminder is that You are 100% responsible for your own experience.
I’m choosing to go on a family vacation (with all the learnings now) and I’m choosing to go to a relaxing escape with my husband next time. And I don’t apologize for not enjoying playing in the sand all day long in a very uncomfortable squating position. 😃
So what about you? How can you let go of some of the expectations and also make sure you have a moment to recharge and rest?