How to find your true balance & Goodbye
Goodbye for now,
as I take a break from work to enjoy my babyboy.
It is my way of balance now…
Let’s find out what balance is for you!
Hello my love, thanks for being here and reading my blogposts. It means a lot to me.
This blog will also rest for a while now that baby nr2 is about to arrive. It is a very conscious decision, I will focus on family in the upcoming months. This is my way of balance now.
You see that is exactly what I teach and what I also help with. I help moms who seek balance and joy, who feel lost, ashamed, overwhelmed and think they can’t have it all together or under control. We all want to feel balanced and feel good, but what does it mean in real life?
If you want to be everything for everybody all of the time, you will be then no one for nobody but will burn out very quickly.
There is this pressure to be a good mom, wife, lover, entrepreneur/employee, take care of your health and body and at the same time of the household and the children’s personal and intellectual development. Of course you feel unbalanced. Of course you feel overwhelmed. Of course you feel exhausted and that you fall short.
The secret is simple.
Define your own balance.
Don’t let society, your old conditioning or any external factors determine what balance should look like for you.
It can be that it’s more for your career now, or more for the family. It can also happen that you are amazing at time-management (it can be learned and improved) and have a bit of everything in your life just the way you desire.
For me, the last 5 years and especially the last one has been rather for work and career, in spite of giving birth to my first baby, my priority and focus was on my career development. I was torn. I was depressed. I didn’t know how to juggle all. I felt lost and terrified, guilty and a bad mom.
I had to go through my own journey, face my own mind (all the crap), beliefs and expectations to be able to say no to external expectations and follow my true calling. I realized it’s ok to want to have a career as a mom. It is ok to have goals and dream about success even if I have a small kid around. I found coaching and started to build my own coaching praxis. I felt alive and motivated. Everything fell into place.
And now my balance will be about taking a break from work and focusing on my baby. I want this now. Not because of any type of expectations, not because of FOMO, but because I decided so. It comes from within and gives me peace.
Balance can look like this. It is always changing and you can just ride the flow and adjust your balance.
I want to share some pieces of advice I learned about balance, so hopefully you can also feel balanced your way.
1. Balance is a feeling – therefore to be able to feel balanced you need to think the thoughts which will create that feeling for you. It is not an external thing, it is not a certain standard. It is your very personal feeling about being in harmony with yourself, with your life, when everything is all right. How can you create that feeling for yourself?
2. Balance is not constant – It’s totally normal to fall out of balance aka not feeling balanced all the time. Feelings come and go. You can’t be happy all the time neither can you feel balanced constantly. And it is OK. The goal is to release any kind of resistance and go with the flow – like that, balance will come as you trust the universe/God/your life journey.
3. You can feel truly balanced when you know exactly what you want to have in your life (too obvious? Don’t bet on it). I coached clients who had a hard time to admit that they wanted to go back to work rather than staying home for years, or who didn’t have the confidence to change careers, or who didn’t want to work at their old workplace but were afraid of quitting, or were stuck in an awful marriage but didn’t dare to think about any options. The common thing among these clients was that they were pushing away the real reasons and just couldn’t face their real desires. Because they were afraid. Which is so normal, this is how we are functioning.
So if you are a SAHM but would like to return to work but you don’t admit that, you won’t feel balanced whatever you try at home. Or if you would like to change career but you are stuck in your old job and you are afraid of diving into anything new, you won’t feel balanced until you dig down to the root what you exactly want, what a balanced life would look like for you. Ask these questions, play around with the thoughts.. what if I would go back? What if I would leave? What if...?
Go over these 3 steps and watch how you react. Do you have resistance somewhere? Are you afraid of something? Can you describe what balance looks like for you?
For me today priority is 100% my baby and family focus. I don’t make strict plans for returning and taking on new clients either. I have a plan in my head of course, but I will adjust it as I grow into my next identity.
I’ll keep sharing inspirations, updates , free value on my instagram, so don’t forget to check out my IG and follow me. (click on the link in footer)
With so much love,
Eszter