3 signs you need more self-care
If you aren’t living under a rock you heard already million times how important self care is. We all know it IS important. I haven’t met yet any woman who would have said “No, selfcare is BS, I don’t think it’s important…”
I’ve already heard though that “It’s over hyped” “It’s irrealistic” “It would be nice…”
So eventually we know it’s important but somehow it’s rare that we would be actually satisfied with the amount/type of self care we have in our lives. Here it becomes more interesting. The question is …
WHY is that we don’t have enough, satisfying self care in our lives?
When we find answers we will also find solutions.
I remember as a child we never had a “doingnothing weekend”, we never just relaxed or did nothing. My mom had a mile long to-do-list which was literally never ending… I don’t have memories of her going to massage either or meeting with friends regularly… I have all the memories about her working, cooking, playing with us, gardening, always DOING something. It has left a deep conditioning in my brain too.
We’ve been conditioned and socialized to:
serve others
put our family first
earn rest (rest is lazy)
So no wonder that we have some issues when it comes to self care.
Self Care sounds really great, but actually DOING it, planning for it, sticking to it… well, there it becomes tricky.
I’m talking about your personalized way of self care, as frequent as You need incorporated in your daily and weekly life.
I teach my clients how to have sufficient self care in their days so they can also give to others. You very well know the quote: “You can’t pour from an empty cup”
Self-care isn’t just some fancy, trendy expression. It’s about your WELL BEING. About you being able to enjoy life.
By prioritizing self-care, you not only nurture yourself but also model healthy habits for your children, emphasizing the importance of self-love and personal well-being.
So how to know (apart from obvious burn out and overwhelm) that you would need more Self Care?
Here are the 3 symptoms to look out for - signs that you need to look at how exactly and how often do you take care of Yourself:
You feel always tired, exhausted
You often feel frustrated and resentful
You often regret your actions (yelling, arguments…)
When you’re not taken care of… when your nervous system is fried… it’s so easy to REACT, it’s so normal to NOT be able to gentle parent or to be a “fun mom”…
It’s not your fault.
It’s your brain’s main function to keep you alive, to preserve you.
Being always tired and exhausted is a sign that you try to do it all while running on empty
Frustration, Anger, Resentment are usually symptoms that you haven’t recharged for a while
Hasty actions, reactive mode usually indicate that your nervous system isn’t regulated, you are overloaded
See?
It’s NOT about that there is something wrong with you… That you would be a bad mom or and angry mom… it means you haven’t recharged for a while and your nervous system is all over the place.
When you prioritize your recharge time, you also make your best to BE your most patient, calm, fun version for your kids!
Self Care is no more or less but paying attention to your WELL BEING for the long term. Actually prioritizing your needs which are expressed in actions too.
When you expect yourself to do mothering good without taking care of yourself is just expecting a car to run on emtpy. It doesn’t work!
I don’t want to leave you hang in there with this realization so let’s turn back to this important question:
WHY is that we don’t have enough, satisfying self care in our lives?
The answer will be unique to You.
Why don’t you have enough Self Care in your days/weeks?
Go at least 3 levels deep.
Meaning:
Why don’t I have enough self care in my days? - Because I have 3 kids
Why does it mean I can’t have more Self-care?- Because I just don’t have time
Why? - Because all the to dos and kids’ stuff are filling up my days
You can go even deeper, but here we already have 2 golden information to start from.
1, TIME
2, Putting others first
From here we can work on the solution: How CREATE time for yourself… and how to handle guilt/deceptive brain massages when it comes to YOUR needs.
We all know how important Self Care is, but our calendar will show black and white whether we truly prioritize it or not.
It’s up to you whether you think about Self Care as luxury, fancy trend, a nice to have… or rather choose to think about Self Care as an essential way of creating happiness in your life for You and for Your kid’s sake.
Let me know where exactly you run into any obstacles when it comes to your Self Care. I can help you.