Modern motherhood’s top problems-nr2 - expectations
Being a mom in this modern world can be very isolating (with small to no support - read my previous blogpost about it HERE) and challenging.
Let’s not discuss today why it’s now easier according to grannie Susie or aunty Brenda, ok? Yes we have machines and a lot of things for our comfort and convenience, but it’s not a Fcking competition whose life is harder. Let’s simply normalize talking about the reality of modern modernhood so we stop the sugarcoating and aim for real solutions.
There is nothing wrong with You if you feel a lot of frustration, overwhelm and exhaustion. (and some rage and guilt on the top)
The list of expectations we face is crazy.
A modern mom is bombarded with crazy amount of expectations and trends, while we also have a bunch of internalised expectations (which we think we should do) in order to feel good enough.
While these expectations are constantly slapped into our face they are many times also contradictory.
Do you feel like you can’t win? You’ll lose anyhow, there is just no way to feel good enough? No wonder!!! You are not alone in this.
You should…
work as if you wouldn’t have children
raise your kids as if you wouldn’t have a job
stay at home with your kids at least 3 years
d0n’t waste your degree
provide adequate development and impulse for them
contribute financially
work out, get back in shape
don’t be a selfish bitch by going to the gym
don’t dress like diva
what’s wrong with you? You look like a homeless…
prioritise selfcare
don’t trust anyone with your babies
work on your marriage
don’t neglect your friends
socialize
get new mom friends, but don’t overshare…
don’t forget your pelvic floor
save the world, use reusable nappies
spend enough quality time with your kids
be involved in school activities, charity, volunteering
be patient, loving, caring
don’t yell ever (they will be traumatized for life), learn anger management
gentle parent
raise boundaries for healthy development, but no authoritive parenting!…
enjoy every second of it
No wonder that we feel like WTF… it’s overwhelming and pressuring and… IMPOSSIBLE.
But do you know what the real problem is?
That we TRY anyhow to comply with these expectations. We so hard try to be good enough, to do it all.
It seems really that we can’t win. But what if… you wouldn’t even try to win a Fcked up competition with stupid rules?
Win according to your own rules.
Do you know your rules?
Do you know which are YOUR terms?
The only way to efficiently navigate expectations is to become confident enough to choose - which you WANT to comply with and which to push back on.
Know your values, re-check and readjust your priorities. Dare to ask yourself over and over again: “What do I want?”
You can decide who you want to be, how you want to parent, what kind of a mom you want to be. There is no perfect mom but you can be a good enough mom, which is exactly GOOD ENOUGH.
Learn how to make decisions confidently, how to set boundaries and how to not give a F about others’ expectations. Otherwise these expectations will keep pressuring you in every phase of motherhood.
F the expectations, do you, be you.
You matter too. You’re a human with desires, needs and a unique personality. Be the mom you want to be.
I can help you to create that version of you. My Mom-Recharged 12-week 1:1 program is waiting for You. Don’t let the expectations define your motherhood experience, create it yourself. Book your free consultation HERE and let’s get started.💥
*the pic is just a reference to that no wonder we’re losing our pink when we’re drowning in all these expectations