Self-Care options Part V/1. - When Self-Care is not so comfortable

Saying NO

I’ll end this mini-series of Self-Care with this topic: some other not so comfortable ways of Self-Care, before we dive into the year closing and goals settings for next year.

As I wrote earlier, Self-Care is not only bubble bath but also the uncomfortable things we do for our best-self, for our future-self. It can be setting bounderies, saying no, exercising, healthy diets and mindset-management.

Let’s dive into two of these: saying NO and the mindset-management.

Do you consciously say NO?

How and When to say NO

We are conditioned to be good girls, to please others, to comply with other’s requests. When we grow up this conditioning stays with us and it can be extremly difficult to say NO to somebody or to something.

However saying NO means that you take your own responsibility how you would like to spend your precious time. You don’t need to explain yourself. There is nothing rude about it, you can just express that you don’t have time for this now, you don’t want to go, NO thank you.

If you have difficulties with saying no, despite feeling deep down that would be the right decision, then it can be most probably because:

·        You are afraid of other person’s reaction

·        You think that you don’t want to hurt the other one

·        You don’t want to face a potential „outcast”

·        You would like to avoid potential conflict

·        You are afraid of consequences

If the first four are in your head, the solution is that you just remind yourself that you can’t do anything about the other person’s reaction and feelings, it is their choice. You need to stay on your own side and take responsibility for your own thoughts and reactions and setting your bounderies.

If you would be afraid of the potential consenquences, just stop for a moment and go deeper – what exactly are you afraid of? Several thoughts can hide behind this, like many times it’s common to think that if you say NO, maybe you’ll lose something or miss out on something important. It’s a normal human reaction that we want to be included, we want to feel that we know everything, we are aware of everything. The solution for this is Self-Control.

Many ambitious high-achiever women make this mistake that they are afraid of saying no, afraid of limiting themselves and they want to do everything at once: all the challenges, all the trainings, every course, every free webinar... but if there is no limitation the result will be a huge mix-up. You would get tired, exhausted, fed-up. When you control what - and how much you can absorb, and you trust your own journey then you can prioritize effectively. Saying NO is the basis of prioritization!

Learn to say NO to too much information, to too much marketing, to too many oportunities, to too many distractions...

Be able to limit yourself so you can create your own balanced space.

Let me know, do you have trouble saying No?

XO